GUEST: Gary Morgenstein

Now I don't care who you are, THAT cover gets your attention and piques your curiosity! Please welcome the author of that enticing book.... my guest today Gary Morgenstein...

“BET YOU’LL BE BEAUTIFUL WHEN THE SWELLING GOES DOWN”
By Gary Morgenstein/How to Find a Woman…Or Not

Hi everyone. Denyse has been kind enough to invite me into her living room to discuss my dating and relationship book How to Find a Woman...Or Not, a comic how-to guide for guys from 25 to 55. Simply, I believe all the world is one giant singles bar with the opportunity to meet your true love whether you're walking on the street, riding the subways, dropping off your dry cleaning, lifting weights, getting your teeth cleaned, a chest X-ray, buying fish at Whole Foods or books at Barnes and Noble -- anywhere.

Along with tips, dos and don'ts, I use my years as a public relations executive to provide talking points on how to handle various situations. Like meeting someone in a doctor’s office.

ADVANTAGES TO WAITING ROOM FLIRTATIONS

1. You demonstrate a sensitive side that isn’t only concerned with looks
2. You can imagine what she’ll look like when the swelling goes down and the stitches heal -- so you limp, darling, lean on me
3. You’re so confident of your own prognosis that you can concentrate on hers, which bespeaks a future where her interests predominate
4. She is in a vulnerable emotional place, making her susceptible to your charms
5. Plus an office is a contained area and she’ll probably not leave before her wound is cleaned to avoid you

SOME DON’TS

1. On general principles, avoid a woman with any signs of pus
2. Don’t poke her awake if she’s passed out because the pain killers have worn off
3. Hitting on a girl who’s temporarily blind is a bit low, unless she is especially foxy
4. Never ask what’s wrong -- might put you off wanting to have sex with her after she describes the details of her infected vagina
5. ‘Cause she might ask you and what if your receding gums/enlarged nipples/etc gross her out
6. Don’t make her talk after she’s had root canal
7. If she is talking, don’t say how cute, you sound just like Daffy Duck
8. For all you know, she sounded like Daffy Duck before

SOME DOS

1. Criticizing insurance for vague malfeasance provides an acceptable common enemy and, if she is an apologist for an insurance company, do you really want anything to do with her?
2. Praise the doctor as someone you have long had great faith in, this way you can claim some moral credit if she likes him
3. If she ultimately sues the doctor for malpractice, she will probably be too deformed for you to have any interest anyway
4. Offer to share a cab back to work/home/subway station. She’ll probably refuse but will appreciate the gesture.

Thank you so much. Please feel free to contact me at my Amazon Author’s page. My book is available at http://www.amazon.com/How-Find-Woman-Not-1/dp/1450506925/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264774867&sr=1-1

In addition to How to Find a Woman...Or Not (Times Square Press, Elite Associates, and Amazon.com Company Publication), Morgenstein has published four novels including the romantic triangle Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, about a divorced middle-aged Brooklyn guy who falls in love with a beautiful woman rabbi -- while still not over his ex, along with Jesse’s Girl, a powerful story about a father’s search for his adopted teenage son, and Take Me Out to the Ballgame, a political baseball thriller, as well as the baseball Rocky The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His prophetic play Ponzi Man played to sell-out crowds at the New York Fringe Festival. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, surrounded by lots of books and rock and roll CDs.