For many of you, the journey with me has been a long and
complex road. I’ve had my share of fun, small triumphs, and even a few good
books with my name on them. Sadly, for me, the end of the road has been
reached. For over 30 years I’ve written stories in many genres, many amateur
fan fictions, and from 2004 onward dozens of professionally published works.
The past few years have been exceedingly difficult for me in personal terms and
it’s effected every aspect of my professional desires and dreams. I had already
decided I was burned out on the more erotic romances I had written for the
first ten years of my “pro” career, but I still felt I had something to say
that would be of interest to readers. Unfortunately, that too proved to be
untrue for the most part. All in all, it’s past time to say goodbye.
Many of you know my mom died late in 2015. I’d been her
caregiver for years, but always found time to write in the dark hours of the
night. It was where my mind found some peace from the stresses of the day. Just
over a year ago, I was in a car crash that took even more of my heart from me.
I suffered concussion and back injury. While the pain can be controlled with
medication and therapy, the lost of my brain function can’t really be dealt
with effectively, only time can possibly fix it. I would like to write, I
simply can’t do it. Whether the reason is emotional, or the result of the
concussion syndrome hardly matters now.
As 2018 approaches, I will be closing some of my sites, releasing
my blog domains, and spending a lot less time on social media. I have
discovered along the way, the endless negativity that dominates much of the
newsfeeds really drives me further away from the creative dreams of new books
and stories. We live in dark times, and this should be the perfect time to
share stories of love and hope, shouldn’t it?
Business failures aside, I simply don’t feel the passion for
writing that I once did. Speaking into a vacuum only dulls that need more,
unfortunately. I don’t think this news will surprise anyone who knows me, and
doubt even more that it will come as a loss to anyone else, and that’s now
okay, too.
It’s been a great adventure. There are still a few things on
the coming soon track, but once they are released, there won’t be anything
further. Thank you to everyone who’s been on the journey with me, your support
has kept me trying to succeed much longer than I might otherwise have spent
telling stories. There are lots of reasons for this decision, and I could go on at length, but as a dear friend and editor once
told me, I’m too wordy, so I’m keeping it short this time.
May you be blessed, today and always. Happiness, love,
and laughter to you all.
You know I will miss you badly. I wish this business had been better to someone so gifted. I understand your need to walk away. I will say a prayer for you that all your health issues be gone forever. Take care hon. You know how much I love you.
ReplyDeleteI cannot stop the tears at reading this. Denyse, you have been one of the best friends I have ever had and I have been proud to call you my mentor all these years. Your friendship has meant the world to me. I know we haven't talked a lot since my own life has fallen apart but I love you D, just as much as if you had been my blood born sister.
ReplyDeleteI think you are the most classy, kind and beautiful person inside and out I know. I do think there are more people than you will ever know that care and respect you as a writer and person. You have always been the most approachable and have helped so many and I will never forget the friendship we have had. I wish you every bit of happiness you deserve and more. I am going to meet you one day Denyse and I'm going to hug the crap out of you.
ReplyDeleteDenyse, you have helped and encouraged me so very much, for as long as we've known each other, back in the days when we were both writing Lonesome Dove fic. I admire you in so many ways, for your friendship, your artistic and writing abilities, your loyalty, and your willingness to share, help, and teach. I really wish we had had a chance to meet in person, but I still treasure our online and long-distance telephone friendship. I hope we can still communicate occasionally, and I pray you be able to keep ties with at least a few other online friends. There are so many of us who value your friendship, and we will all hold you in our hearts, our memories, and our wishes.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteDenise...my heart is with you. I truly understand your pain. What is least surprising to me is how others see you, your kindness, generosity of spirit, who you are to them. Perhaps one day you will find joy in writing again or MAYBE your creative spirit will find an outlet you never before considered. Maybe all that talent and passion inside you will burst out in ways you have sublimated focused so much on your writing...art, crafts, home decor, the world of creative inspiration lies before you to grasp as you let go of something that no longer works for you.
ReplyDeleteLove and blessings always,
Lucy/Lilles
Not an ending,
ReplyDeleteA changing,
Not a closure,
But a seizure
Of what matters most;
Those who love you,
Know you,
And those who know you,
Understand that, spread too thin,
The balm of comfort,
Gained from writing,
Becomes less a salve
And more a means of choking;
Less a cure
Than a corset of pain.
Those who love you,
Pray for you,
And hope that:
Less is more.
Be free and be what you need to be, Terry.
I am so sorry, Denyse, as a fellow writer I do understand how hard it is to remain positive in the current literary climate, where readers don't always appreciate the tremendous amount of effort and sheer hard work it takes to produce a novel, and how very small the monetary rewards are these days. When one has personal loss and health problems as well, it is quite understndable that you fee you have had enough. I hope one day you will regain your joy of writing. Meanwhile, think of all the pleasure your writing has brought to others, an achievement not to be brushed aside. My thoghts and payers are with you.
ReplyDelete