Sunday, January 22, 2012

Fantasy vs. Reality?

So, here we are closing in on the end of January, rather quickly. Most of this first month of a new year has been spent in clearing up work from 2011 and setting into place new goals for 2012. I’ve had a few demons to put to rest, as well, and in the past five weeks, most of those shadows have in fact been exorcised.

A couple of days ago I was drawn back into a world I had happily left behind. Unfortunately, unfinished business always finds a way to remind you of things not dealt with, and that was the case here. A random remark brought forth a wealth of answers to questions I’d dismissed as impossible to answer. Now, I have a lot of answers, a lot of information, and a few decisions to make about what will be done with the knowledge that is now in my keeping.

What the hell am I talking about is what you’re thinking, no doubt. Let’s go back to 2011 for a few minutes and then move forward from there…

Most people who know me have seen me supporting the entities known as “role-players” and advocating their desire to write and entertain as legitimate and worthy of praise. I still support anyone who wants to write, but I have to state categorically that I will never again endorse role-players on any level. Having been both friend and supporter, then labelled enemy over issues most adults would simply laugh at, I’ve reached a whole new level of understanding and in a real way, intolerance of the bullying and cowardice that goes with the role-play personality in far too many.

I’ve read interviews with role-players, I’ve published them in my magazine. As someone noted when reading these interviews, they all spout the same crap and sound like they’re reading the same speech. What I wasn’t able to see last year, I see very clearly now that I’ve put distance between me and the insanity of this make-believe world. MOST of the people who come into this do so because they want to write. My advice, for what it’s worth, is write–don’t waste your energy engaged in something that violates the work of authors you claim to admire. But do so with the understanding that until you step away from your role-player style and mindset, your prose is going to be the stuff of editorial nightmares.

I do believe when this kind of writing/entertainment begins it does so with an honest desire to be creative and interact with people. It’s alluring and addicting. But, despite a year’s worth of faith and involvement, I have yet to see anything really good come from living in this world. People lie, hide behind false identities, bully others, betray friendships, and all in the name of protecting their role-play or role-players. Facebook is home to much of this, and the “wars” never end there. Even those who scream they want no drama are continually creating it. As if there isn’t enough room on a site like Facebook for every group? Then there are the independent sites with their idealistic spiel about no drama and safety… It’s just the same game on a different website. There is no trust you can count on, and all the bonded friendships are illusions because you aren’t friends with a real person, just the role they play–there again is the voice of nasty experience.

All in all, I’ve read the “brilliant” role-players and the average ones. Those who are praised for being great storytellers are often great conceptualists with poor skill in bringing those concepts and stories to life in literate prose. I’ve trusted few people in this make-believe world, and even those proved mistakes. So, now, there are approximately a dozen people still associated with me–and over 300 “friends” gone from my Facebook pages. Peace and sanity has returned.

Prior to the world of role-play, I had been on Facebook for three years with never a problem. During 2011, I was investigated twice because of activity reported on my pages, so is there a connection? I’m guessing there is…I no longer care. This crap is like a labyrinth you can’t escape until you’ve cleared the final gate. For me, this is the final gate. I enjoy the few sensible real people who remain in my life, and I’m grateful to role-play for introducing us, but mostly I am just damn relieved to have these people gone. As a role-playing friend of mine said recently, the real problem with RP is that it hides too many mental cases who bring all their crazy to characters who aren’t remotely as they are then presented to new fans and readers. Probably true, but irrelevant in the extreme. I know it’s made people I respected into total strangers once they become involved, and it’s ten negatives to every positive for what it brings into the lives of real people.

At the end of the day, the biggest issue with all this make-believe is that it sucks in real people, and when things sour, the real people are the ones everyone talks about and the ones targeted by assholes who are still hiding behind false names. There are never two sides to an issue, only the make-believe one. Frankly, I see nothing of merit in this whole world. “Brilliant” writers write books and publish, and entertain people. End of. They do not use the work of others to make themselves writers. Original characters, if you want to write, you still have to take it out of the “acting” mode and turn it into accepted prose. If you can’t or won’t do that, perhaps it’s time to look at yourself honestly and face whatever it is in your psyche and your life that you’re desperately trying to hide from. Maybe once you face that, you’ll be less inclined to bully and attack everyone who doesn’t play into your fantasy.

Now, we are done with this issue/topic, and it's onward to real life and better days ahead! Happy New Year everyone!!


  1. We are just happy you are back:)

    I've missed you...and as busy as I've been with crap I am looking forward to us being able to do the "real" work again.

  2. I am speaking from the POV of a publisher. I have role playing friends that write and write well but when I have been asked to edit have had to send back manuscripts and ask them to write in English. Role play has a speech all of it's own and while it is fun to read and likely write, it does not translate into a book.

    My honest opinion is, if you are serious about writing, when you do so have an entirely different mind set than that from role play world. I have spent the last several days rejecting stories from hopefuls that have written stories in role play speak. Not fun for them or me.

  3. Denyse,

    I read this and one word came to mind. PERSEVERANCE. You can't be kept down by anyone. You're Denyse Bridger, darn it! :)

  4. Ladies, thank you so very much. This is one escape that took too long to make, but now that I'm out, I'm not being drawn back in. It's a bright new year, and a hundred new adventures are waiting to be discovered, with real people and caring friends who make it all the more fun and worthwhile. As always, thank you for sharing my journey and making it so much fun! I love you all.

  5. So glad you're back! :) We all have little detours in our journey to the mountain top. Life is about lessons and here is another one learned. That they all posed as something fun and tempting and turned nasty is truly disappointing. Lesson Learned: No more poison apples!

  6. Denyse,

    I had no idea how much drama is alive in the RP world. Glad you are out of it and doing much better. Thanks for sharing this so that others won't fall into what sounds like a dangerous world.

    Here's to a better 2012!

  7. Thank you, Colleen and Celtic Chick - so right, it is a tremendous relief to be back on track and out of the craziness that dominates the role-play world. Cheers and onward we go!!


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