Hello everyone!
As most of you know, I was in a car crash a couple of weeks ago and life hasn’t really been the same for the past ten days. My car was damaged badly and repair costs are over $8300, and that doesn’t include personal stuff that resulted from this crash. I’ve had x-rays that show there is a compression fracture low in my spine, and severe whiplash that runs from shoulders to tailbone… all in all, I’m in a lot of pain and haven’t been able to do a lot for the past ten days.
I have a long road back from the pain, apparently, because I had pre-existing issues that have also been made worse. The other driver, a woman close to 92 years old, is fine and trying to dodge responsibility by denying everything, even being charged for the driving offense.
So, next week is very likely to begin a long run with physio therapy, more statements to insurance people, and probably a face to face with her insurance company regarding the injury. I’m not looking forward to the next few weeks.
Despite having a lot of down time away from the computer, I’ve been reading more, and really looking honestly at a lot of things in terms of a writing career gone wrong. I’ve tried to quit, usually not with much success, and I’ve adapted to market changes, learned, and written things I love–and things I hate. Ultimately, all it’s gotten me is a bad case of regrets and disappointment.
I guess in many ways I’ve been the architect of my own failure because somehow I always choose integrity over expedience, and therein lies the bigger issue. I’ve had a lot of battles with people in this business, many more than I ever would have believed possible because the truth is, I don’t look for controversy and generally just want to be left alone. It took me several years to rid myself of the insanity of role players constantly hounding me, and creating dramas while they went about destroying whatever reputation I had built. When I’m done, I walk away… I remove people from my social media who have brought nothing but emotional upheaval and maybe that inadvertently creates more issues than it solves? Who knows? I certainly can’t make heads or tails of it.
I’m a sensitive and intuitive soul, always have been. I say that as a simple statement of fact, not a ploy for empathy or sympathy. When I help people out, which I have often done, and I get back snide comments, gossip, and outright lies from people I once trusted, it does hurt. When I see people I consider friends continuing to interact with the ones who’ve ripped into me, it does hurt. I’m a big girl, though, and I try to leave that pain and sense of mild betrayal where it belongs, and I try to move forward. I don’t pretend to understand because I don’t work this way–when someone hurts someone I love, I deal directly with the person who’s hurt my friend, and I just remove the offender from my radar. That is MY way of dealing with things. I don’t continue to court the people who lie and belittle those I care about. I can’t do it any other way and still be true to who I am as a person.
I have removed at least two well-known and successful NY Times best-selling authors from my social pages because they lied outright to me about situations that hurt a lot of people close to me. Was it a wise career move? Probably not. Hell, I know it wasn’t, really. But, again, I choose my loyalties and stand by them. I don’t use the people I know to make myself look better or more important to readers, or potential audiences. In the end, this may be part of why I stagnate in obscurity while a lot of people I know move into the big publishing houses and make it onto the lists.
At the end of the day, nothing I do makes much of a difference, and I accept that, too. Pain is not a great catalyst for decision making, so I won’t use how I feel right now as an excuse to quit. That said, I also won’t pretend I like people I don’t like, or use the success of others to further my chances at getting ahead in this business. If I can’t do it on my own terms, I won’t do it at all… and that, it seems, is the way it will end up being anyway.
May your success always be something that makes you smile with pride, and may your heart be blessed in all you do.
You have been through a lot lately. I'm thinking of you and hope you feel better soon. This has been an incredibly bad year for a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteI would like to say that I hope 2017 brings better things. I'm not sure that is the case for me though. Life just isn't the same after losing my husband. But here is hoping that 2017 brings more positive than the negative of 2016 :)
Denyse. I'm a lurker on the romancebooks4us yahoo group. I hope things go smoother for you in the future and your recovery is quicker than expected. As to your writing comments we can only live with ourselves if we live a life of integrity. I wish you a brighter future.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Denysé, no matter what!
ReplyDeleteMy sister from another Mister, I hate that you have been through so much. If I could bear some of it for you, I would. In 2010 I was T boned and my back has never been right. It's gotten worse but that is only because the local hospital here after x rays and 2 ct scans missed my fracture which has resulted in nerve damage. So at least they caught yours. Do the therapy. Role players? All ican say is some of them are just creative people who are quirky but harmless and others are seriously mentally unstable for ANY social network let alone role play. You are a talented author and I have zero clue why you aren't on a Best Sellers list and getting more attention.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what happens, stay in touch with your friends. You don't have to be a writer to blog, be on social media or use email. Love you. Sending you a big gentle hug.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the pain and accident. I wish you a speedy recovery. I can only imagine the pain you are in and the hassles with the insurance, esp. with her denying it. My hubby was in insurance for the longest time and it left a scar on his heart.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you're having to go through this but always remember that you belong to a community of people who are rooting for you and hoping everything works out in the best way possible. Please take care of yourself and as Nicole remarked, do your therapy. I'll add, listen to what your body is telling you. Acupuncture is good for pain relief and stimulating your body to help itself, so that might be an option if you think that might work for you. I'm sending you a big hug and lots of good wishes for a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteDearest, dearest D. The old adage "these things are sent to try us" is certainly true of recent events. You are SO strong that I know you can get through this, but it is just SO unfair that you should have to. My thoughts and prayers are with you, in terms of both physical and emotional healing, and I know that the prayers of so many others will also be there for you.
ReplyDeleteOne moment at a time, dear D, followed by another and then another.
Please take care and do not try to achieve too much too fast.
Love, as always,
T.
Sorry about your accident, pain, and the cost. Wow, a triple whammy. Could be this is the time to write, if you can (with the physical pain), so you can lose yourself in another world. One that makes you happy. I know when I'm blue, writing's the only thing that helps.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I've met great and awful people in this business. In too many ways, it's like high school all over again. I have to wonder if male writers in other genres, anything except romance, have the same problems. Somehow, I doubt it. This seems to be a female thing.
I hope you recuperate quickly, Denyse, and get back on the writing horse. You have an awesome style - I'm one of your biggest fans. XOXO
Hi, Denyse. Thank you for sharing the particulars surrounding the car crash. As I know from Handsome's surgery two months ago, sometimes, time is all we have and we need to let it do what it does best. So I'm wishing for you time to heal. Hugs!
ReplyDelete