Tuesday, March 12, 2013

When The Bullshit becomes Bullying!

I was going to let this go, despite my “it’s not fair that he gets away with this” attitude. That is until the key phrase was said. “He’s gone thank God, that is unless you do something to upset him.”

That is a fearful remark made by someone who is recovering from many years in an abusive relationship. The ‘someone’ is a former author who threatened and used personal information to get his way when his crapola books were terminated.

I was all for exposing him, naming him and showing the world exactly what kind of a creep this wannabe is. I even resigned from my position within the publishing company so that I could do the grand exposé.

I’m still willing to put myself out there and invite him to come after me with his blubbering talk of legalities. The reality is, this man is a coward, he doesn’t have the guts to stand up to me or anyone else that would look him in the eye and decimate him with his own words. All of his talk of legal action was a bluff. He didn’t have a legal leg to stand on, he knows it, I know it and the lawyers know it. However I am not going to give him any free publicity.

Now I have to admit, I think this thing with ‘bullying’ is a wee bit over the top. I think people have to learn to stand up for themselves. Your kid coming home from school saying that little Joey called them a poo poo head is not bullying at its finest. Little Joey might have been having a bad day, or gasp, your kid might have been acting like a poo poo head.  I was taught to stand up for myself, so when I got called a poo poo head, I learned to either consider the source and let it or, or I would walk up to them and ask what the problem was.  That is called problem solving, and I really wish I would see more of it, as I fear for the upcoming generation.

However, when the antagonist worms their way into your life the game changes. He came in, under the guise of friendship, offered all kinds of ‘help’ sang our praises and even made romantic overtures. All the while assuring any and all information exchanged is “IN CONFIDENCE” then months later, when things aren’t going his way, he would bring up the fact that you had said this or that and he had the emails to prove it.

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t hang on to emails when we have a discussion about fears, doubts or you just generally having a bad day, unless I have nefarious plans or an inkling this could come back to bite me. That was a huge red flag and the next one was this idiot going off on the person who had made a comment on their own Facebook page.

When I pointed out it was her page and she was entitled to post what she wanted, and the post by the way was generic, it did not name names, he went back in and did a screencap to show that I had “liked” her comment. Nothing else was in the email just that screencap. All systems went on high alert, I knew exactly who and what I was dealing with at that point. 

I knew this man was abusive and I have much too often seen this “game” that men like him play. After pointing out to him that he had gone to someone else’s wall to get that screencap and that frankly what this person and I think and share on her page was none of his business, I also gave him my one and only warning. I told him “Do NOT get into a pissing match with me, you will lose.”

That worked well, he knew he would get nowhere with me.  So he moved on, or rather tried to move around me. He went to the CEO of the company and began working on her insecurities. He told her that another author and myself had an agenda and that we could not be trusted. He went on to say, that the only person she could trust was him, that for whatever reason, the author and I had it in for him. He was looking out for her, he had her back, and the list of lies went on and on with his usual boring diatribe.

Apparently he forgot one key thing. We are not paranoid in that we talk daily to each other and yes sometimes about each other. The email was shared with me and the other person mentioned. I took the time to think about it, and decided based on his current sales, that we would not contract any sequels to his one published book. The decision was not made out of anger. He was pushing to have the sequel published and his first book had sold a dismal 10 copies, with the CEO buying most of them when she tested the shopping cart. He bought two or three copies himself. When a book does not sell, there is no point in publishing the sequel, and if he had thought it through he would have realised that by terminating the first book, he could present the entire package elsewhere.

Well the whining and roaring and snivelling and veiled threats over that termination were and are laughable. We still had one book of his in publication. That was to remain but he managed to screw that up as well and the order came to terminate that one also. Well papers went out and the threats came in. He used his personal information to intimidate the CEO and it worked. I think she would have been fine if I could have stayed in the fight, but this creep knew I am scheduled for a mastectomy sooner rather than later and we are damned sure he was waiting until he knew I was not around, to ramp up his game. Despite me being more than ready to stand my ground, she went to the lawyer and he gave her bad advise in my opinion. “Give him what he wants.”

My question was why? He had nothing, no legal standing. I showed everything to my own lawyer who basically called him a joke. Her lawyer felt like this guy was bad news and that is the only time I agreed with him. But there is a difference between bad news and actually having a legal case. Authors are terminated every day for any one of a variety of reasons. Wouldn’t it have looked wonderful in court when this guy is screaming foul over us terminating him for lack of sales and I show the sales and the fact that the owner of the company bought most of his books? IF it had ever made it to court, because no lawyer worth his salt would have agreed to represent this moron.

The company lawyer stated his concern was for the lady involved and how bad she was stressing over this.  I agreed to whatever she wanted to do because I care for her. However my own principles don’t allow me to “do whatever the other person wants so as to not stir things up.”

However the more I thought about it, the more I knew this course of action had been just plain wrong. Giving in to the bully does not stop the bully. It only empowers them to be a bigger bully. It also makes you go deeper into a victim state.

I did the only thing I felt comfortable doing. I quit the company, so that I could expose this creep for what he is. A low down slimy lying bastard who preys on women, or anyone he sees as being weaker than him. He can be quite charming until you don’t do things his way. Then his true colours emerge.

So here it is, I am throwing down the gauntlet so to speak. If this creep wants to come after me, have at it. I informed his new publisher of his ways and wish his former publisher had done us that same courtesy. There are any number of sites that list bad publishers, agents, and the like. There needs to be one for authors as well. The man is a liar, and that was proven to his current publisher as he was listing his books with the company I used to work for as being out of print. Until yesterday they were still listed everywhere as there were no termination papers signed.

I see that they are down off most sites except Amazon who may hang on to the titles for a while longer.

I may go back to the publishing company, but what is written here is as an individual, and has nothing to do with the company.

My name is Penny Adams and I am standing up to a bully.


  1. Angela Leiss-OrndorffMar 12, 2013, 3:15:00 PM

    Bless you dear, not only for having the courage to stand up to him and others who love to bully, but for doing so when others would have gave him the 15 minutes of fame he so anxiously seeks. He deserves nothing, he deserves what karma comes to him. I pray for a healthy and long life of success for you and please know other women out here too have been bullied by arrogant bastards who love to prey on us. We stand united with you!

  2. Thank you, Angela. Well said on your part, and we stand united!!!

  3. Wonderful blog post Penny. These "bullies" have power only because people choose too let them have it. Once they realize they can't belittle, bully or dissuade they have no power. Most bullies are weak, insecure and under confident themselves. They prey on our weaknesses in a most reprehensible manner. Bullies are nothing more than parasites. We all have to stand up and support one another and show people like this that will not and can not get away with it.

  4. First off, I am LIVID! You know what if your book isn't selling then pull up your pants and work on what went wrong or find a new idea-if you can't then don't call yourself a writer! I am with this publishing company and I am proud to be apart of their team whether I sell 1 book or 100 (hey btw, if I sell 100 copies of anything-someone be here to catch me when I faint). My very first book was signed with the notorious Publish America so this individual has NO CLUE what being taken advantage of is. He has no idea what it feels like to see people buying a book that is 4-5 times the fair market price and isn't being sold in the general mass market place. He has no clue what it is like to be told that unless you sale over 100 copies and then you're only going to get 7% in royalties. He'll never know what it is like to get an author's copy and be excited about seeing his story only to open the first few pages to see where words have been spliced, sentences off kilter, and other editing mistakes. I was crushed by Publish America but brought back by XoXo Publishing. Any author that has hit the main stream like Stephen King, Nora Roberts, James Patterson, and the rest all have stories about how many rejections they got and how many dues they had to pay. So when I read stories like this of people that think their work is some divinity and woe and damnation to the poor plebeian publishers and critics who find it otherwise-it just ticks me off! There are many authors who would give their eye teeth just to get a reputable publisher to work with them. He was given a chance and rather than put his ego aside and be a writer instead of "I AM A LITERARY GOD" persona, he might have ended up with something with the support of a legit publisher behind him-but no, he took the cowards route. Pen, you should have never quit but never fear because I stand right along with you and let the bully come. I may not be anywhere near being a top selling author but at least I didn't have to buy my own book! Gah I'm going to stop this rant because I'm beyond seeing red and I don't want to let loose my hillbilly ginger fire *because I'm not sure that Denyse here wants that many F*words and other colorful sentiments on her page*

  5. What an egoistical bullying author is he. He sounds like a total jerk uno stronzo. What kind of author is he if he cannot accept an agreement as is then goes to cry to the CEO? Knowing her situation and I don't blame her for seeking legal advice or you Penny. You're both right. Let's stand up to these bullying authors.

  6. Some people are not meant to be authors, they are just wannabes.

  7. Thank you everyone for your support XOXO wouldn't be the same with all of you. Penny we miss you and I want you to come back!
    I have reinstated you as our VP effective immediately. Now Nikki I love you for this :)

    Penny A Adams this is all for you doll!


    As for bullying I've set up an anti-bullying group on FB a year ago which is very active. I'm also the coordinator for local anti-bullying talks for school in Toronto and GTA.

    Personally I'm a survivor of abuse and bullying.

    XoXo Publishing, I had to take a neutral stand until a legal agreement was signed. This being done, I stand by my beliefs, and my staff and my company. I will publically declare that all (authors who are unprofessional should be listed in the Black Book)

  8. One and all, very well said, indeed!!

  9. WTG XOXO Publishing. I better get my butt moving and be on my best behaviour.

  10. While I never had any "personal" issues with this (so called) man, I did find him to be an arrogant windbag. He is a HUGE narcissist, and he uses "big" words to make himself look as self-important as possible. Penny is a strong woman, there is no doubting that fact. She could handle this irritating, contemptible, egomaniacal wanna-be with her hands tied behind her back. That is the ONLY reason I didn't have at him like I was/am itching to do! I say good riddance to bad rubbish!! She's kneed him in the nuts and kicked dirt in his face; all without laying a finger on him. Kudos to you Pen!

  11. Always supporting all those who expose this massive problem of "Bullying/Violence" from all your friends at http://www.tomthumb.info/tt/ Thank you.

  12. Always supporting all those who expose this massive problem of "Bullying" from all your friends at http://www.tomthumb.info/ Thank you.


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