Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Obsession and Sociopathy

That’s quite the attention getter, isn’t it? I’ve been walking in this strange grey area for a few months now, and every time I think I’ve cleared the crazy away, someone decides it’s not over yet. We meet a lot of people in our lives, on the streets and online, but it’s the online ones who appear to be the most likely to really try to tear your life apart. I don’t know why the “protection” of a computer makes people braver than they’d ever be face to face, but it does have that effect.

Some of you have followed the saga that began with a role-play group earlier this year, and ended in lawyers and police and insanity of a special kind. It’s still carrying on, believe it or not–the new partner, apparently, doesn’t believe in letting anyone escape if they come out better than her. Oh well… Guess what? It’s happened. Now crawl back under your rock and stay there! I’ve spoken to the sociopathic object of your affection again, we are DONE. No need to inbox nasty, perverted messages, then scream you were hacked… just leave it to hell alone and get on with your plotting against someone else before you are arrested for the threats you’ve made.

Obsession… it’s been played as romantic over the years by some, and tragic by others. Obsession is in vogue at the moment because of Fifty Shades of Grey. Obsession is dangerous, and it expands and effects every life you touch when you are caught in the throes of it and can’t escape. Sometimes we don’t really want to escape, of course, not until we’re shown that obsession is part of the player’s stock in trade.

I’m going to forego long detail here, and cut right to the chase. After nine months, most of the puzzle pieces have been put in place. Professional people have used the words “con man” and others have said “sociopath” in loud, clear voices. My personal opinion having spoken to a couple of fellow victims is there’s a little of both at play. Hey, you know me, I put it out there–I’ve been conned by a world-class sociopath, and this is me admitting it to you. Even as I type the words part of me is whispering, but what if you’re wrong? What if he is tragic and tormented? Which of course simply proves how damn good he is, because even with the proof in front of me, I still want to believe him.

IF there was a chance of being wrong, I dismissed it when his last victim came to me and told me in great detail what had been said to her and done to her–and guess what? Word for word what was said to me! No man loves any two women exactly the same way, unless he’s conning them all… the words and the responses change–it’s called being an individual, isn’t it? Hell, as writers we don’t even write the heroes as carbon copies of each other. I’m sure there’s truth somewhere in the narrative he spews, but for someone who preaches religiously about truth and trust, he lies more easily than he breathes… and that’s been proven a hundred times in the past two months, and not just to me.

The definition of sociopath is this:

Antisocial Personality Disorder is also known as psychopathy or sociopathy. Individuals with this disorder have little regard for the feeling and welfare of others. As a clinical diagnosis it is usually limited to those over age 18. It can be diagnosed in younger people if the they commit isolated antisocial acts and do not show signs of another mental disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is chronic, beginning in adolescence and continuing throughout adulthood. There are ten general symptoms:

not learning from experience

no sense of responsibility

inability to form meaningful relationships

inability to control impulses

lack of moral sense

chronically antisocial behaviour

no change in behavior after punishment

emotional immaturity

lack of guilt


*More information can be found here:


Also, the Sociopath is profiled in easy-to-understand terms here:


ALL good con men have to have at least sociopathic tendencies or they’d never be able to pull their shit. The magic of the internet has created a world-wide garden of opportunity for men and women like these. Ands, those who love honestly and openly are always the best victims, they care with a genuineness that strokes the ego of the con artist. In many cases, once the con is over and Mr./Ms. Wonderful vanishes, the wounds are so deep some will never recover or trust again. That’s the real tragedy, that the truth has been mutated by lies and will always be a source of pain and imprisonment, instead of freedom. For me, I can’t live in a self-imposed prison, I do know the truth of who I am, and who he is… I pity him, he lost much more than he gained.

Karma… everyone talks about it, and I’m not sure I believe in it, but time will prove or disprove that one. My karma, if you wish to call it that, knows well what the truth is… and every move made to silence that truth simply adds to the evidence of what really has happened here. Sociopaths have no conscience, they move from one victim to the next and never admit that they’re the one creating the agony they leave in their wake. If you’ve been the victim of betrayal and pain, spreading it out to the innocent people who might have loved you better and forever is not the way to heal your wounds. Becoming an abuser and a predator just makes you worse than what was done to you.

So, to all who are reading this, tread carefully. Good luck and good love…

*The Phoenix image used in this post was found via Google, and is meant only to be a symbolic impression here. No copyright infringement is intended.


  1. Denyse',

    Very well said! Thank you for saying what I couldn't! *hugs <3*


  2. D,

    Your words were written and went straight to my heart, as I know the hurt and pain that has been caused. I was too a victim of that con man and was there to watch you get taken down along with the others, all the while his two cohorts stayed and played their games.

    All I can say is that the famous saying "the truth will set you free" couldn't be anymore clear and to the point. Sadly, he will never learn nor admit he has a problem. He as you said will have victim after victim and it won't quit until he is either arrested or committed!

    You know I am here for you and will always talk to you and help whenever needed. I am sad that you had to find out that you were too a victim of his lies and deceit, it's one thing I so pray and wished you could have seen before he came slithering up to you. However, my speech of "when God closes one door HE opens another" holds true, as you would have never met me, Jules, Liz or our fans. We have something he'll never take away...trust, love and respect!

    Love you always D,


  3. Thank you ladies for your thoughts and love and support. Here's to the next big adventure, may it be wonderful for us all!



Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.