Regrets...

There is always that moment in time when life takes all the joy it has given–no warning, no compromise, and no return to what should have been. Love, we are taught, is what gives us courage, strength, even purpose to a large degree. So, we seek it, in every heart we meet, and when we recognize it in another, all the poets and artists of the ages suddenly make sense to us. We have arrived at our destiny, and the world is a place of beauty and promise unlike anything we’ve ever known before.

I have been to this heavenly place, recently. After a lifetime of being a solo act, I encountered a heart that matched my own so perfectly, I was in awe of it all. Even our darker sides were the same, we understood each other in ways I didn’t think possible. We were arrogant in our trust and our certainty that united we would never fall. God, how naïve and wrong can two adults be? I wasn’t long discovering that what life grants you in happiness is paid for in pain.

Two people with a lot of distance between them have to reach out and trust with all they are if they’re to hope for a future that is shared. Living in the moment is a requirement and you have to believe what you need and love is real enough to stand the tests you will endure. What a shame there are people who are threatened by your happiness to such an extent that they lie and cheat and manipulate until your faith shatters and love becomes hate before you ever have the chance to understand how it happened.

No one will ever fully know how deeply sorry I am for things said and done over the past couple of weeks–especially the person I wanted least to hurt with what needed to be done. I believed in fate, and hope, and love–so much that it blinded me to liars and insidious players. What I’ve lost can never be recovered, but it will haunt…and I will always grieve for the love that should have been forever and never got a chance to grow.